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From Anger to Peace - Letting Go of Destructive Emotions (Ephesians 4:25-32)

Ephesians 4:25–32 - 25 Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another. 26 Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not give the devil an opportunity. 28 He who steals must steal no longer; but rather he must labor, performing with his own hands what is good, so that he will have something to share with one who has need. 29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. 30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. 32 Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. 


What does today’s passage say?

In today's passage, Paul stresses the importance of Christ-followers speaking truthfully and controlling their anger, rather than deceiving or raging at others (vv. 25-27). He warns against laziness as well, urging disciples to work diligently in order to share extra resources with the needy around them (v. 28). Additionally, the apostle challenges believers to beware of unedifying speech like gossip or lies, instead intentionally building others up through gracious words that meet needs (vv. 29-30). Finally, Paul commands God's people to eradicate attitudes of resentment or bitterness, replacing these with tender-hearted kindness and forgiving forgiveness toward those who wrong them, just as God has mercifully pardoned their own sins in Christ (vv. 31-32).


How can I apply Ephesians 4:25-32 to my life?

Paul urges believers to live in unity as one body in Christ. After describing theological realities in the first part of the chapter, he shifts to making practical exhortations about how redeemed people should conduct themselves. Followers of Jesus have been radically transformed by grace, called out of worldly lifestyles into a new community displaying the holiness of the Lord. Therefore, our attitudes, behaviors, and speech should align with our new identities in Him. Although we still struggle with sinful tendencies, the Spirit now empowers us to put off the old self and put on the new self daily. This requires actively fighting fleshly impulses and learning to walk in the fruit the Spirit produces. Relationships provide a real-world classroom for applying these truths. As brothers and sisters in God’s family, how can we demonstrate more of Jesus’ character? Here are some basic principles from this passage we should apply to our lives:

1.     Speak Truthfully and Control Your Anger (vv. 25-27): As Christ's followers, honesty and integrity should define our speech. Deceiving our neighbor violates God's call to be people of truth. Additionally, anger left unchecked often escalates into destructive words and actions. When we feel irritation swelling into wrath, it is prudent to pause, reflect carefully on the situation, and respond thoughtfully. Seeking reconciliation should be the goal. Constructively managing emotions honors God and builds relationships. Reacting to bruised pride causes further harm. By God's strength, we can use gentle, caring speech to resolve conflicts quickly instead of using hurtful language to tear others down. The Spirit empowers patience, forgiveness, and self-control as we navigate disagreements. Christ-like speech builds others up with grace and truth. Wisdom recognizes that outbursts in anger rarely persuade. Reasoned dialogue wins over more hearts for the Kingdom. As growing disciples, we must continually ask God to transform reactive spirits into responsive spirits, while we guard tongues to speak life and peace (Zechariah 8:16; Proverbs 15:1-2; Matthew 5:22-24; James 1:19-20).

Food for Thought: Why is truthfulness in speech so vital for healthy relationships? What strategies help you control anger and communicate carefully?

2.     Work Diligently and Share Generously (v. 28): As redeemed people, we should steward our time and talents responsibly through diligent work rather than laziness. Additionally, Christ calls us to generously share what we have been given with those in need rather than living selfishly. It is easy to make excuses for why we cannot give time, money, or resources to bless others. However, Scripture reminds us that all we have belongs to God, so stinginess can reveal a heart not fully surrendered. Generosity should flow out of gratitude for Christ's lavish grace given to us. Seeking to meet pressing needs in our community with an open hand honors the Lord. Though our culture promotes accumulating more for ourselves, disciples of Jesus find joy in storing up eternal treasure through serving and giving. Making an honest living through our vocations allows us to share with the poor and support Kingdom work. While the world applauds wealth, comfort, and consumption as signs of success, Christians measure fruitfulness by eternal impact. May our work ethic and generosity point others to the radical self-sacrificial love of Jesus (Acts 20:35; 2 Corinthians 9:7; 1 Timothy 6:18).

Food for Thought: Why should Christians be known for working diligently and sharing generously? What holds you back from bold generosity at times?

3.     Build Others Up with Your Words and Do Not Grieve the Spirit (vv. 29-30): As followers of Christ, we are called to intentionally use our speech to encourage and strengthen those around us rather than tear down. Additionally, we must be aware that unwholesome, destructive words can grieve God's Spirit working within us. Before speaking, we should pause and consider carefully the impact of our words - will they impart grace or wound hearts? Persistent sarcasm, criticism, gossip or lies contradicts living as children of light. Scripture exhorts us to speak only what is constructive for building others up according to their needs. Though we may have freedom in Christ to speak painful truths, love calls us to restraint when our words fail to build others up for their good. With the Spirit's help, our vocabulary can become a healing balm that gives life through genuine and honest affirmation and praise. May God empower our speech to bless rather than curse, to create hope rather than despair, to spread joy rather than pain. Since the world rarely encourages, disciples must lift the weary with inspired words that reflect the comfort with which we are comforted by the Holy Spirit (Psalm 19:14; Ephesians 5:4; 1 Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 3:13).

Food for Thought: What criteria helps you discern if speech is constructive or destructive? Why must we guard our lips if we want to avoid grieving God's Spirit?

4.     Do Away with Bitterness and Be Kind, Tender-hearted, and Forgiving (vv. 31-32): When we face hurt in relationships, the temptation is to react in resentment, anger or rage - spewing hurtful words that only transmit pain. However, as followers of Christ, we are called to absorb injuries without lashing back. The world promotes "getting even" yet the Spirit urges us to return good for evil, overcoming hostility with unusual kindness. This does not come naturally without the mindset shift that grace provides. Bitterness grows when we rehearse grievances instead of releasing them. But as recipients of His divine forgiveness, we extend the same gentle patience we've received from the Lord towards those who wrong us. Christ dealt graciously with our failures; we must do the same when others fall short. Yes, injustice still happens. But we can soften hearts through demonstrating radical forgiveness just as God has forgiven us. Inevitable disputes become occasions to understand others, not condemn them and to accept irritations as opportunities for counter-cultural compassion (Matthew 18:21-22; Proverbs 10:12; 1 Corinthians 13:4-6; Ephesians 4:1-3).

Food for Thought: Why do bitterness and unforgiveness damage us? What empowers you to still show grace when it is costly?

Paul provides very practical advice for how those saved by God’s grace should live as new creations in Christ. Our speech and conduct within the body of believers serve as real-world practice for expressing divine love. Though disputes and conflicts trigger our fleshly reactions, the Spirit now empowers patience, self-control, compassion, and forgiveness to prevail. This passage serves as both a reminder of who we are positionally as God’s children and who we should increasingly become by cooperating with His transforming work practically. Whether through honesty in communication, generosity to the needy, edifying speech, or conquering bitterness with kindness, our lives must match our gospel message.


Dear Heavenly Father,

I pray that You would help me take to heart the personal applications from this Ephesians passage. Empower me to speak honestly and control destructive anger that only drives people away from You. Guard my lips and make my speech rise above gossip, lies, and sarcasm. Where I have grown bitter, replace that with Christlike forgiveness, compassion, and kindness in the face of wrongs. Unite me closer to other believers by rooting out pettiness and conflict and produce in me increasing patience, care for others, and biblical wisdom. Conform my attitudes and actions more into the image of Jesus.

I pray these things in the most precious name of Jesus, Amen.


Ephesians 4:32 – “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”



With His Blessings,

Pastor Corby

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